On the Outside, Looking In

There are lyrics that refer to “being on the outside, looking in.” That phrase strikes a chord with many of us, because it expresses a feeling we have all experienced at one time or another–the feeling of being alienated from those with whom we long to be involved.  It feels like there is a barrier that can not be crossed…something that keeps us from “belonging.”

At a women’s retreat, there are those who come, looking forward to a girls’ weekend away with their friends.  They have a “group” and feel like they “belong.” But we all need to be alert and aware of those women who bravely come to a women’s retreat or show up at a women’s event not knowing anyone as more than an acquaintance.  They hang around the outskirts of groups, hoping to be included.

I have seen it many times, and have even experienced it…being acknowledged, but feeling that I don’t truly belong.  I have also experienced being a part of the group, and not really wanting anyone else to be included that would interfere with intimate fellowship that we have developed.

So, what is the answer?  Is an “outsider” doomed to remain an outsider, while the “insiders” grow in intimate fellowship together?  How can we create an inclusive atmosphere in our women’s events?  We’ll probe this issue again in the next few months.  In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts!